DON'T YOU PEOPLE SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!!?

"PS9" (PS9) 08/22/2014 at 23:06 • Filed to: WTFRIDAY

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"Oh wow, a car with more power than a Ferrari Enzo for like 1/20th the cost! Thats great, right?" LexLuthor WROOOOOOONG .jpg This is the worst thing to happen to humanity since the central periphery economic model, and here's why.

Charger Hellcat
Challenger Hellcat
(rumored)Viper Hellcat

What's the next dodge to get Hellcated? Doesn't matter, because once the reveal a 4th cat, the world will end. These aren't factory hot rods with a warranty; they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse in disguise!

Dodge partners with Fiat to form a car company name that sounds like a curse word in italian, who's high end cars are always trying to burn it's customers alive...prepubescent middle school humor and petty attempted revenge killings. If that doesn't scream 'work of the devil', what possibly could? Also this;

707 HP - 666 (EVIL DEVIL NUMBER) = 41 -> 4 - 1 = HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

Only two people would dick us around about Half Life 3; Gabe Newell, and Satan, and Gabe Newell doesn't send apocalyptic horsemen to end humanity make supercharged Dodges.

Look guys. We can't let the fourth car get revealed. If it does, everything will be destroyed. The internet will fold in on itself and consume human souls. The earth will be covered in a one foot thick layer of cats and babies. Dinosaurs will fly F14s and strafe Washington D.C. Gas will rise to $5000/gallon. Jalopnik will become a hybrid only green blog. We have to do everything we can to stop FCA from revealing the fourth car. The third car is already being rumored, so we don't have any time to lose purple monkey dishwasher!

anothermiatafanboy > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:09

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woah.

The man in the iron mask > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:13

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No worries, the hellcats cant beat this on a quarter mile

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:13

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Birddog > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:17

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Purple Monkey DW acknowledged.

Executing plan Alpha Alfa Sunshine Tire Smoke.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:19

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4 cars

4 sides of the time cube

4 horsemen of the apocalypse

4+4+4+4=16

16/2-5=3

HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > The man in the iron mask 08/22/2014 at 23:21

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I laughed way too hard at this picture.

qbeezy > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:23

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707 HP - 666 (EVIL DEVIL NUMBER) = 41 -> 4 - 1 = HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

Half Life 3 confirmed????? OMGERD must be true. Here... HAV ALL TEH INTERNETS!!!!1!11!!1!!!!!!1!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:24

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I was following your logic.

Right up until I read it.

ly2v8-Brian > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/22/2014 at 23:28

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That's some Illuminati shit right there.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:38

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Please let the 4th be the Hellcat Caravan.

Atomic Buffalo > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:48

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Viper Hellcat won't happen because the motor won't fit.

Which means they could build a Ram Hellcat without bringing on the apocalypse.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits 08/22/2014 at 23:56

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A mid-engine Hellcat Caravan...

Anon > PS9 08/22/2014 at 23:58

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Add Brains base to that list of people who can't count to 3. Sincerly, still waiting on a third season of my favorite show about economics.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > PS9 08/23/2014 at 00:10

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Don't forget Fiat is nothing but a bunch of coke snorting mobsters!!!

CB > PS9 08/23/2014 at 00:12

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"Dinosaurs will fly F14s"

ChampagneChariot > PS9 08/23/2014 at 08:11

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Panda Hellcat?

Avenger Hellcat?

Journey Hellcat?

500 Hellcat?

458 Hellcat?

It is here to ruin us all.

And yes, they still make the Avenger.

Matthew Phillips > Atomic Buffalo 08/24/2014 at 00:43

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Goat heads are associated with satan....

Atomic Buffalo > Matthew Phillips 08/24/2014 at 00:57

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A Ram is a sheep, not a goat. Different genus and species. Let the truck guys have a little fun. It's been a long time since they had the SRT10.

Shoop > PS9 08/24/2014 at 16:12

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i would drive a Grand Caravan Hellcat

Dusty Ventures > PS9 08/25/2014 at 15:46

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